Anxiety
I'm the final stages of moving out of my apartment and this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I am coming across things that I haven't seen since I was 11 and it's starting to take a toll on me. One minute I'm looking at old journals and laughing (how mature we thing we are at 16) and the next I'm ready to cry because I'm throwing about things I've had since I was 11. I actually just had to stop because I'm cleaning out the 2nd of my 3 closets. I love clothes and everything I own takes me back to a specific time. Amy I have an outfit I bought when we worked at Cypress (AND I CAN FIT IT! Love elastic) that I never wore. I saw it and it took me back to 1993! I'm finding pictures of myself when I was so skinny I looked like I had Mananorexia (loved the definition in my face though). The things I'm finding are very overwhelming, that being said if I seem extra bitchy, short, anxious, withdrawn, quiet, etc. it's not you (unless you're the person who's been threatening to "come look at" my big screen TV for over a month because you have DIBS on it) and I am sorry if I've been or am nasty or should I say nastier than whats normal for me. Once this process is done I'll be back to "NORMAL" (whatever that means).
By the way, Dembitchy, NONE of this applies to you, Thats All.......................
By the way, Dembitchy, NONE of this applies to you, Thats All.......................
Well, well, well Coley... I think that this is so good for you. It's just what you have needed and long over due. Cleaning out your house, saying good-bye to old things and remembering is good for the soul. You are entering a new chapter in your life and I am very excited for you! You're all grown up now and it brings tears to my face.... ok, not really... but I am so happy for you. What you are going through IS "normal" and change is always difficult -but much needed.
On a lighter note, keep in mind that you will have plenty of friends coming to visit you... including myself -of course! As a matter of fact, I think I'll drag Feen with me so we can party again like it's 1999! Hmmm, funny how we always looked forward to that date actually coming and now we look back. I had a much better ass back then... hmmm. OK -anyway! Where was I? I am very proud of you and wish you the best. I know that once you get settled that it will feel like home and even better in some ways. I'm sure that you don't need to hear all this because you already know. But I said it anyway... so there.
Reply to this
Thank you so much. I NEEDED to hear EVERYTHING you said. Yesterday was the hardest day for me in long time. When I walked out that empty apartment for the last time it finally set it, this chapter of my life is done. That was the last part of the cleaning, selling, giving away and THROWING away of my things. I did learn a lesson abot stuff, I had too much and I wont do that again and I'll think about things before I buy them. I'm cool with the change it's the "what am I going to do next" that makes me crazy but I know I'll be fine.
Thank you for the kind words, I TRULY appreciate them.
I cant wait till your crazy ass comes to visit we will have a blast and "What Happens In New York, Stays In New York"
Reply to this