I sit here on the "Chinese Bus" about to make the trip I've made many times except this time somethings different, I'm nervous. I've never been nervous before, normally I'm so excited I can't see straight. It's not a bad nervous, hell I've got the apt to myself, Kathy and the pup are gone and my remaining psychotic roomie is on vacation for 10 days. I have a laundry list of things I need to do and am anxious to tackle them. Oddly enough I'm 99% sure the nerves come from regaining my confidence. I didn't realize it but after being fired in March (for not performing up to company standards) I lost my confidence, but is didn't realize it. I'd assumed that I was transitioning to NY, going to school and having a roomate. I never regretted the move but something felt off. I didn't have as much fun as I'd had on previous trips and I didn't feel as desireable or socialable as normal. But as soon as I saw my final grade for one of my classes it hit me, I had a lightbulb moment, I'd lost my confidence.
Evolving In 2008