We Are Their Dreams
Sitting here watching Oprah Winfrey interview Viola Davis for her Oscar special I heard something that shook me to my core. During the interview Viola was telling Oprah about a conversation she had with her sister at end of their fathers life; her sister was saying he cant die because of all the things he'd never done and she asked Viola what did she think their fathers dreams were and Violas response "WE are his dreams" Wow!
The reason the quote struck me is one of the few things I know for sure is that all four of my grandparents wanted one thing for their children, Opportunity. I am often told "I never hear you complain" or "why don't you complain" and my response will always be the same thing "I have no reason to."
Growing up I NEVER, not EVER heard my parents or grandparents complain about anything and the "because you're/were Black" or the "Black people this and White people that" record (which to this day I cant stand) was NEVER played in ours or our grandparents homes. I heard them talk about disappointments and sometimes obstacles but they were always followed up by how to overcome them. I never heard I would be unable to do ANYTHING because I was Black (and male), I was told you will have to work harder because some people will underestimate you because you're Black (and male) and the first thing that some people will see is you're Black (and male) but what you DO and how well you do it is what they'll focus on and will remember.
When I saw The Help I became so enraged I nearly walked out. Subconsciously I know what went on during that era but seeing it was almost too much and in the moment I almost walked something calmed me down and said "your Grandmother was a maid until she retired in her 70's, if she LIVED it you can WATCH it because things have changed" (not perfect, but 500% better). The maid (my old living grandparent) has lived to the ripe old age of 85 and in her 85 years she's seen both of her children graduate from college, have families of their own and see 5 out of 6 of her grandchildren graduate from college (I'm the 6th and I'm almost done). I've heard A LOT of things come out of the maids mouth but theres one thing I've never heard from her (or any of my grandparents) a complaint (and at this stage in her life where basic mobility is a challenge she isn't complaining and wont let us help her). What I heard was we (my siblings and cousins) have opportunities and access to things they didn't, our cups were NEVER half full because compared to them our cups are running over! When my Grandfather used to me about life when he was my age (as a teenager) the things he said were so far removed from my reality I couldn't grasp them, but I remember he never complained and if he got a hint of complaint in my tone or voice he shut it down quickly and I thank God he did.
I often look at and listen to people who complain and regardless of race, economics, religion, sexual preference, physical/mental challenges etc there is one thing they all have in common; the complainers are always left eating the dust of those who don't. After watching The Help I realized that my successes were not just my own, but they were the seeds of my decisions and the fruit of those who believed in me. I have the greatest support group of family, friends and professional relationships anyone could ask for. I've had people do things for me that I would never have asked for nor could I ever repay and for a while it bothered me until I learned that when things like that happen they're blessings and the repayment is "Thank You" and when appropriate return or pass the blessings on.
I write this as a 39 year old man who has been laid off four times in a row who will be 40 this year and even though I have no prospects or any idea of what my next venture will be, I am just as happy as I was the day I landed my dream job in Jan of last year. That sounds insane especially since my dream job was a high profile position with a huge consumer electronics company, with a brand new company car, the latest electronic gadgets, the ability to set my own schedule, an expense account, free gas, travel and many other perks. So how can I be as happy now as I was when I heard "I'd like to offer you the job because you're the person I want representing the company in your area" because without knowing it I am someone elses dream. My brothers, my cousins, my friends, my parents and most importantly my Grandparents. My grandmother, the maid, I know was the happiest. She loved seeing me in my company car and she made sure EVERYONE knew I had THAT car with that companies logos all over it and I knew why; her grandchild was living a dream she couldn't have imagined for herself. Thats how I can sit here happy because I know at my poorest I am richer than those who came before me, with no prospects I know that compared to those who came before me my opportunities are endless and lastly compared to those who came before me my cup isn't half full, it RUNNETH OVER, all because "We Are Their Dreams."
Thank you Viola Davis
The reason the quote struck me is one of the few things I know for sure is that all four of my grandparents wanted one thing for their children, Opportunity. I am often told "I never hear you complain" or "why don't you complain" and my response will always be the same thing "I have no reason to."
Growing up I NEVER, not EVER heard my parents or grandparents complain about anything and the "because you're/were Black" or the "Black people this and White people that" record (which to this day I cant stand) was NEVER played in ours or our grandparents homes. I heard them talk about disappointments and sometimes obstacles but they were always followed up by how to overcome them. I never heard I would be unable to do ANYTHING because I was Black (and male), I was told you will have to work harder because some people will underestimate you because you're Black (and male) and the first thing that some people will see is you're Black (and male) but what you DO and how well you do it is what they'll focus on and will remember.
When I saw The Help I became so enraged I nearly walked out. Subconsciously I know what went on during that era but seeing it was almost too much and in the moment I almost walked something calmed me down and said "your Grandmother was a maid until she retired in her 70's, if she LIVED it you can WATCH it because things have changed" (not perfect, but 500% better). The maid (my old living grandparent) has lived to the ripe old age of 85 and in her 85 years she's seen both of her children graduate from college, have families of their own and see 5 out of 6 of her grandchildren graduate from college (I'm the 6th and I'm almost done). I've heard A LOT of things come out of the maids mouth but theres one thing I've never heard from her (or any of my grandparents) a complaint (and at this stage in her life where basic mobility is a challenge she isn't complaining and wont let us help her). What I heard was we (my siblings and cousins) have opportunities and access to things they didn't, our cups were NEVER half full because compared to them our cups are running over! When my Grandfather used to me about life when he was my age (as a teenager) the things he said were so far removed from my reality I couldn't grasp them, but I remember he never complained and if he got a hint of complaint in my tone or voice he shut it down quickly and I thank God he did.
I often look at and listen to people who complain and regardless of race, economics, religion, sexual preference, physical/mental challenges etc there is one thing they all have in common; the complainers are always left eating the dust of those who don't. After watching The Help I realized that my successes were not just my own, but they were the seeds of my decisions and the fruit of those who believed in me. I have the greatest support group of family, friends and professional relationships anyone could ask for. I've had people do things for me that I would never have asked for nor could I ever repay and for a while it bothered me until I learned that when things like that happen they're blessings and the repayment is "Thank You" and when appropriate return or pass the blessings on.
I write this as a 39 year old man who has been laid off four times in a row who will be 40 this year and even though I have no prospects or any idea of what my next venture will be, I am just as happy as I was the day I landed my dream job in Jan of last year. That sounds insane especially since my dream job was a high profile position with a huge consumer electronics company, with a brand new company car, the latest electronic gadgets, the ability to set my own schedule, an expense account, free gas, travel and many other perks. So how can I be as happy now as I was when I heard "I'd like to offer you the job because you're the person I want representing the company in your area" because without knowing it I am someone elses dream. My brothers, my cousins, my friends, my parents and most importantly my Grandparents. My grandmother, the maid, I know was the happiest. She loved seeing me in my company car and she made sure EVERYONE knew I had THAT car with that companies logos all over it and I knew why; her grandchild was living a dream she couldn't have imagined for herself. Thats how I can sit here happy because I know at my poorest I am richer than those who came before me, with no prospects I know that compared to those who came before me my opportunities are endless and lastly compared to those who came before me my cup isn't half full, it RUNNETH OVER, all because "We Are Their Dreams."
Thank you Viola Davis
Posted by coleycole at 2/16/2012 12:31 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Oprah Winfrey Viola Davis The Help
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Oprah Winfrey Viola Davis The Help
Comments